If you and your spouse have decided divorce is in your future, you have options besides going to court. You can choose to settle your differences through divorce mediation. Using the service of a trained third-party mediator, mediation allows the resolution of your issues in a less stressful way. But the key lies in choosing the right mediator.
Here are a few considerations when choosing a divorce mediator.
Choosing a mediator who is impartial and neutral is crucial to the mediation process. The mediator needs to identify and maintain the correct balance during your meetings. The mediators should not be emotionally invested in the outcome of your sessions. They are there to lead you and your spouse through the process and not make decisions for you.
Establishing the correct balance requires the mediator to have a clear understanding of each of your positions. This understanding allows them to determine how much or how little intervention you need from them in certain areas of your negotiation.
When choosing a mediator, you want to find someone who inspires your trust. A trained divorce mediator keeps all discussions that take place among them and either side confidential. They then use the information gained from the discussion to help you resolve your differences.
If you go into mediation with someone who does not inspire your trust, you are less likely to talk openly. This lack of open communication will be a hurdle in the process.
To say relationships are complicated is an understatement. Many different situations and dynamics have gotten you to this point in your relationship. A good mediator should quickly obtain an understanding of the situation and an analysis of the issues and underlying risks.
Most situations are not cut and dry. If the situations were clear, it would be much easier to work out an equitable settlement. Upon hearing the issues from both sides, a good mediator will help lead you to create solutions that can be win-win situations for you both.
5. Great Listener
Above all else, a good mediator is a great listener. Their job is to listen to both sides. Once both sides are heard, they then must get you to agree on the outcome of all the issues involved in your divorce.
Not only must the mediator listen to the words you say, but they must also be able to see and hear the unspoken body language you use. Your body language will often give the mediator larger clues about how you feel.